random thoughts!
okay....today is one of those days (yeah, its a monday too!)....but i am kinda sad today. its never been the case with me when one single thing has brought me down. its always an avalanche of award winning evil events which conspire and come at me from all angles and take me down. yep, today is one of those days. one of those days when i realize how outta control my life is and how i am gravitating towards something that will surely be the start of my end. i find it ridiculous that everyone on the outside perceives me as a very stable person. but i have my secrets....i have closets which are overflowing with skeletons. and i often wonder....does everyone have a dark side? or are all the miss goody two shoes ACTUALLY miss goody two shoes? its not like i am trying to justify my actions (or inactions) by saying that "everyone is doing it so why cant i?". but yes, if i were to be pragmatic...then yes....i shall definitely be less guilt ridden if i was to feel that it was normal to screw up sometimes. its but natural.
life is a great teacher....unfortunately it kills you! most of the time, we realize the seriousness of our wrong acts by facing the consequences. so, in a way....that kinda makes me think that the only way to learn in life is by learning by mistakes. yes, they say we should learn from other mistakes as well....but first hand experience has a way of teaching you a lesson so you will never forget. after all....mistakes are what made me learn things like.....that i cannot catch a flame or heat (but that i can catch a cold if i go out without a jacket!).....that just reading the summary of a chapter one hour before the exam wont even get me a C.....that high school sweethearts almost always break hearts.....that i should never mess with someone bigger in size than me....and SO many other things.
but talking about more serious issues......is the risk of making a mistake worth it? what if that one risk just gives way and you find yourself falling into a dark abyss? what if that one mistake makes you lose the trust of everyone who means anything to you? what if that one mistake scars you for life?
its confusing. i wish i had an answer. i wish someone would tell me that things will be okay (even if they wont!). i wish someone would give me the courage to face upto my secrets and chase the darkness away. but then again....if that were to happen.....would i be the person who i am? i would most definitely NOT wanna be a shallow person....after all.....we are what our experiences have made us.
so i guess the idea is to be happy with what you have....and what you dont have. to accept the good and the bad....and above all....to accept yourself the way you are. and if you are truly convinced of something....be flexible enough to change that aspect about yourself. after all, change is the only permanent thing in life!
so, cheers.....to the person i am....and to the person i was.....and to the person i will be.
*clink*
6 more minutes to go before tuesday comes up! cheers to that as well!
peace!
life is a great teacher....unfortunately it kills you! most of the time, we realize the seriousness of our wrong acts by facing the consequences. so, in a way....that kinda makes me think that the only way to learn in life is by learning by mistakes. yes, they say we should learn from other mistakes as well....but first hand experience has a way of teaching you a lesson so you will never forget. after all....mistakes are what made me learn things like.....that i cannot catch a flame or heat (but that i can catch a cold if i go out without a jacket!).....that just reading the summary of a chapter one hour before the exam wont even get me a C.....that high school sweethearts almost always break hearts.....that i should never mess with someone bigger in size than me....and SO many other things.
but talking about more serious issues......is the risk of making a mistake worth it? what if that one risk just gives way and you find yourself falling into a dark abyss? what if that one mistake makes you lose the trust of everyone who means anything to you? what if that one mistake scars you for life?
its confusing. i wish i had an answer. i wish someone would tell me that things will be okay (even if they wont!). i wish someone would give me the courage to face upto my secrets and chase the darkness away. but then again....if that were to happen.....would i be the person who i am? i would most definitely NOT wanna be a shallow person....after all.....we are what our experiences have made us.
so i guess the idea is to be happy with what you have....and what you dont have. to accept the good and the bad....and above all....to accept yourself the way you are. and if you are truly convinced of something....be flexible enough to change that aspect about yourself. after all, change is the only permanent thing in life!
so, cheers.....to the person i am....and to the person i was.....and to the person i will be.
*clink*
6 more minutes to go before tuesday comes up! cheers to that as well!
peace!
posted by Freeway Hippie at 10/03/2005 11:36:00 PM
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