saturday's here...

It’s 1:30 am and I should be sleeping. There are a lot of other things I should be doing…but I either don’t feel for them strongly enough to go through with them, or I don’t do them because I have other bees in my bonnet. FYI for those new to the expression…its more than 350 years old!

One thing I need to do is de-stress. I take time out everyday to relax but de-stressing is quite another deal. I read myself to sleep…that’s relaxing…but thinking about whether Terry McCaleb will actually get enough incriminating evidence to convict Bosch is stressful in its own way. Having said that, reading is hands down the best thing I can do with my time!

My definition of “fun” is not what it used to be. And neither is it in accord with my peers’ idea of it. But tomorrow, after the recitation, I plan to dip my toe into their idea of “having a good time”. I don’t think I would be able to survive a plunge so I’m gonna approach it with baby steps rather than going all out…or rather…all in! A drive up to Mt. Hood and a day of skiing and BBQ. That was my choice over ice-skating followed by a movie and going to a Greek restaurant for drinks and dinner. It wasn’t as much a choice as it was a “no way out” kinda thing. I know everyone at the skating rink in the mall is waiting for me to get on the ice and land on my ass so that they can snicker at me! The reason? Well, I have this habit of standing outside the rink and hooting at anyone and everyone who loses balance and thuds down. And I know that I am not giving those creeps the opportunity they so badly want.

And the reason why I’m not interested in drinks and dinner is simple…I don’t drink…I mean, aside from water and coffee and the like! And take my word for it; it is NOT amusing or fun to control a group of drunken friends on a Saturday night…or to hear them take every topic at a tangent!! Moreover, I ain’t gonna be no designated driver for nobody!

So there…Q.E.D!

I got a fat bundle of homework to check…and I have my own homework due on Monday. But I’m not letting any of that come in the way of what I intend to do tomorrow. And neither I am gonna let any of my (albeit close) friends ruin it for me by making me their emotional trash can! I don’t know if that’s common or not, but of late most of my male friends keep me up all night ranting about what’s wrong with their personal lives! That kinda pretty much does it for me coz its nearly impossible to get back to bed when one of your best male friends is sobbing on the phone at 2 in the morning! Try getting back to sleep after consoling someone for close to 2 hours!! At the risk of running this blog entry into 2 pages I’ll share my new defense mechanism. When these guys call at night (usually in an inebriated state!) I tell em that’s what life is and make em hear all that they want me to say. And when they call me up in the morning/day/evening…I haul their asses and tell em to be men and not take crap from women who treat them like effing crap! It works better than staying up all night trying to knock some sense into a drunk’s head!

I should hit the sack now! I’ve added an image to go with the idea of skiing at Mt. Hood!

G’night!

10111000

Another day, another blog entry. Only these days, it’s not that synchronized! It’s more like…another “few days”, another blog entry. I fear worse, so I’ll leave that right there at my optimistic musing.

Not much is happening in life other than work and study. The realization hit me today when I bumped into someone who I haven’t met in a while asked me the inevitable question. “What’s up?”. Darn! There were days when I circumvent the disaster by getting raunchy or by remaining up to date with things like gas prices! Not anymore.

In fact, of late, my mind is making me utter really creepy statements. And I think people smile only coz they don’t know what else to do. Here’s an example: I met this one girl who knew some other girls with the same name as me. And when she told me so I told her….rather….my possessed brain told me to tell her that soon we’ll have to assign numbers to people with the same name as me….and then I followed it up by saying the geekiest thing ever! “In binary”! IN FREAKIN BINARY??? Hello?? WTF?? Oh man! That should have done it for the day….but no! That was just the start! I’m not gonna go into the other nerdy things that happened today coz I’m feeling optimistic today…and I don’t wanna ruin that feeling!

Anyway, things have been going good at school. There’s this hottie in my recitation class who has asked me for some time so that I can explain some stuff to him. Don’t worry, dude! I can give you more than just some time!! Hehehehehe! Maybe I’ll throw in some love lessons with the electronics lessons! And oh yes, I have been doing some research lately…and have come up with this killer idea that I would like to work on for my thesis. I thought someone would have thought about it by now but thanks to the “smaller, better, faster” trend in the IC industry…I just might end up striking gold…metaphorically speaking, that is!

So, one of the things that has been bothering me these days is….I NEED TO GET A LIFE! Damn! I should go out, have fun….do stuff normal people do. Perhaps I will….soon…like in 2 months or so. I don’t work/study as much as I ought to…at least that’s what I perpetually feel.

Anyway, before I “get a life”, I need to get some sleep. Its almost 10:30 and I have 45 pages to go before I can go visit dreamland!

life sucks!

There are days when my life sucks! Last week was sheer madness! Kinda suits me…but I feel it get to me on weekends. And the crazy thing isn’t being busy…its being so busy that certain tasks end up being neglected or partially done. Perhaps what got me really messed up was when I got late at the recitation and reached the seminar hall 10 minute behind scheduled time. I ended up losing important attendance. And since the recitation and seminar are lined up back to back, I predict that this is gonna happen almost every time. I don’t wanna beg the professors to gimme some latitude and neither do I wanna cut back on the recitation. But I must do one of the two if I wanna avoid a low grade. Attendance is the only thing we’re graded on in the seminar…so I gotta work on this raw deal anyway.

And oh yeah, an important observation…caffeine doesn’t seem to keep me up anymore. And when I say caffeine…I mean a double shot! And when I had 2 red bulls last night…I could swear they made me drowsy.

But there’s so much work to be done…I cant…I shouldn’t sleep anyway. 2 advanced level courses…3+1 presentations, 1+1 projects, homework, programming assignments, research papers, seminar, recitation, grading homework and midterms, maintaining office hours, self study, mid terms, finals…and just 2 months. Is my life screwed or what??

I need caffeine on an IV…to go please!

whats new and whats not!

Whew! It’s been a long and pretty busy weekend! But I did get some very important work outta the way! I am almost done with a hardware language that I was supposed to know before I registered for a particular course. I don’t mean to brag (well…just enough so that I can get the called for appreciation!) but I did it in record time! It was a prerequisite for this one course I am taking but I don’t let stupid things like prerequisites get in the way of my taking up important courses.

I learned something important about myself while studying the language though…I like programming better than using software! And programming hardware is sheer bliss!!

I feel that when it comes to it, anyone can learn/do anything. Umm…lets make that “almost anything”! I work well under pressure but I like believing otherwise coz I don’t wanna end up slacking off!

Anyway, I also conducted 2 TA classes over the weekend. Fun! That’s what it was! I have to teach freshmen in one class and returning students in the second. I think freshmen are the same all over the world!! Cool, exciting, fun loving, humorous, relaxed! Its just so much more interactive and entertaining teaching them!!

One thing that is kinda getting to me these days is that I feel that I am getting way to busy! I enjoy it, of course…but there are so many other things that I need to do. Blogging, for instance! Okay, I admit…that was the dumbest instance I could give! But what the heck! Anyway, getting back to the point, when I have work to do, I tend to get a little (read quite) defensive when people ask me for a piece of my time. I know that wrong but I can’t help it. I’ve been trying to balance things out for a few days…but it’s hard! And my fiancé’ got so mad at me when I told him (jokingly of course) that we should talk on a weekly basis…at a slated time. Wednesdays at 9pm...that’s what I suggested, in case you’re curious!

Damn! I’m also losing zeal to do extra-curricular stuff…like right now…my programming book is staring at me…in fact…its calling out to me…whispering my name with longing…telling me to open up page 514 and try to write my own code for that program…must…go…now…book…calling…

what am i doing?

Here I am...at one of those stages again...or shall I call it a constraint defined, zig-zagged, criss-crossed, "guess the pattern" type intersection (of life)?
I'll blog about this in a few days...hopefully things should become crystal clear by Saturday...its my hope that they shall be crystal clear but any magnitude of clarity other than that will be more than welcome.
I hate life changing choices...specially when they make their entry at times like these...when I couldn't be more unprepared even if I tried!! Thankfully, I have not made very many wrong decisions in life...I think THAT'S what's causing me to freak out! The thought of messing up...of making that ONE stupid mistake that will make my life hell! On one side is my head...which is telling me to do a very logical and reasonable thing. And on the other side is my soul...which wants me to do the thing that will make me happy! Most of the times, I listen to my head...in fact...I ALMOST ALWAYS listen to my head...But I had made a promise to myself at one point of time in my life (not so long ago). And that promise was...."There is ONE life altering decision that I will surely make with my heart...". As luck would have it...its time to make that decision. And as luck would definitely have it....I'm unprepared. But Saturday should consolidate some ideas...and raze down the others. And come Sunday...and I shall blog about the scandalous idea doing rounds in my head.

the meeting!

This morning, I had a meeting with the Professor for whom I am working as a TA. It went very well…not quite what I expected…but extremely professional…which is not only required but also very comfortable.
Then something happened, something that got me “retrospecting” on a very distinct childhood memory.
When I was much younger, I remember being very impressed by this account of a novice journalist who got her “big break” when she stumbled across a colossal story by sheer accident!! She didn’t expect the publication to be as big as it got…but as she delved deeper (into her mind and heart), she realized that this was what she had been waiting for her entire life…the single biggest incident that would contribute to her career in a huge way.
I was that journalist today! And boy!! It was a ride!!
Here’s the conversation:
Professor: Hmmm…I have an idea! I have never done anything like this before but since you mentioned that you are interested in going into academia, this just struck me as a possibility. I am going out of town in February to attend a workshop and if you’re interested….
Me: Yes! Oh Yes!
Professor: ….so if you’re interested….I can let you….
Me: Definitely! I AM interested!!
Professor:…I can let you deliver 2 lectures to the students!!
Me: OMG! That would be a great opportunity! Thank you SO much!! OMG!! You don’t know how HUGE this deal is for me!!
Professor: Okay…lemme put that down then. You shall be a Guest Lecturer for the class on the days when I am out of town!!
THAT WAS MY MOMENT! MY BREAK! Life never rocked so hard!! The adrenaline got me so high that I was literally trippin!!
So this is the deal…I have to conduct 2 “extra classes” a week, grade homework and tests, supervise laboratory work, provide homework solutions, maintain office hours etc….AND (the best part)…deliver 2 lectures in February!!
I am SO nervous…well….more anxious rather than nervous! But man!!! Lets rock!

And I’ll end this on the note of a graphic tee I got today….”Tell your boyfriend I said thanks!!”
Ciao.
P.S. I got my cartilage and nose pierced 2 days back…4 words…TOTALLY WORTH THE PAIN!!!

eeeehaaaa!!!

Oops! Looks like I’m a wee little late to have blogged on January 1, 2006 but what the heck. The situation isn’t so grave that a hairline of a difference causes a huge difference, is it? So anyway, without further waste of precious time and words…HAPPY NEW YEAR! Doesn’t it feel good?? I was out partying till late last night…roaming the streets with drunken mates and family…screamed my lungs out…took pictures like a mad woman…and just let go like I never had before! It was insane…but boy, was it fun or was it fun? Can’t wait till next year!

I was against it, but nevertheless, I came up with a few resolutions this year…here they are (1) Try to become a slightly warm person (and no…brandy isn’t a solution!) (2) Mumble mumble…blah blah blah…(3) Get my nose and ears pierced (in fact, I am headed to the tattoo parlor tomorrow morning!) I was advised that needles are better than guns…specially for cartilage…which is what I am getting! (4) This one is what I like to call a Wild Card! In fact, I have awarded myself 2 of these this year. It works like any other wild card. So, I guess its safe to conclude that I am safe for this year…or at least till tomorrow night! Mwahahaha! Sheesh!! is my blog getting really moronic and retarded or what???