Confusion strikes again!

I feel weird. Very weird. Lack of comprehension is infuriating. Especially when the situation/topic is extremely personal. I DO wanna understand what is happening, but I am limited by my awareness which is defined by my experiences and restricted by my vocabulary. Yeah, that came out right. Coming back to the subject here...I guess it happens to every one every once in a while...and I happen to be at a time and place in my life where I have been bitten by the same bug. I find it hard to comprehend my feelings and since I don’t want to call them by a name that just about resembles what they are...I find myself falling silent. And silence is a torture when there is actually a storm brewing in ones mind. Forced silence is almost as bad as saying something just for the heck of it. And ironically, these are the only 2 options I have as of now. Of course, there is also the option of coming out in the open about my dilemma...but I have always been the kinda person who reflects rather than one looks out for meaning and/or purpose.

Heavy!

random...

one thought. i figured out a zillion different approaches to blog about it...i deleted every one of them. poor vocabulary vs unexplainable phenomenon. its not a battle raging in my head as much as it is a fleeting summary.
this is where i stop making sense.
but there are some things cannot be explained. i understand them on a level which cannot i cannot define. it is not the lack of words which is holding me back...but the inability of words to express what i feel.
i hurt, i love, i comprehend, i feel...and i emote as everyone else does. but do i emote in the same fashion as everyone else? does sadness feel the same to everyone as it does to me???

now that i reflect on that question....i dont think so.

my escape.

brainwashed...not in the metaphorical sense. but actually cleansed of most thoughts. just taking in the genuine facts at their face value...not having problems or questions or even alternatives or solutions to the the nature of things.
acceptance.
this is what i call a vacation.
:)