the much awaited offer letter...

So I got the TA appointment letter today. Finally I feel relieved! Up until today there was a sense of insecurity but it ran outta the window the second I read the letter. I have been assigned 2 subjects…but they’re quite closely related so I don’t think its gonna be a problem.
This means so much to me that I don’t have the words to express my mental and emotional state right now. I feel so…umm…not quite “honored”…but something around that. Special? Ummm….not quite…but something around that as well. The TA is the start of a career for me. I’ve always wanted to go into academia. What better than a TA? And that too, assisting one of the best professors in the University!! Man! When I think of it all on this level…the adrenaline rush is unbelievable!!
I want to do SO well on this assignment that I am compromising a little on the courses I am taking this Winter. I’m skipping the hardest subjects and am instead going in for a combo of one hard and one easy course so that I can devote good time to the students as a TA. That way, I can do my best to ensure another term as a TA…or at least I can try MY level best to get a TA…whether I get it or not is an entirely different deal. For me, its not about the money…its about testing the waters and to see if I am really cut out for my dream job. And if I am not cut out for it…I’ll metamorphose myself so that I DO become fit for it….coz its what I have worked so hard for!!
What else is new….oh yeah, a new idea has been doing rounds in my boyfriend’s mind! Getting engaged this summer! Is that extreme or what?? I don’t have a problem with that though…we were gonna get engaged next winter anyway…the sooner the better!! That way I can own him by June 2006!! Mwahahahaha!!! Wicked huh?? Thass me!!
Oh well, I should hit the sack now. I have cousins coming over tomorrow! Gotta wake up early and go grocery shopping (Ugh!)
G'night!

Happy 2006!

Good morning readers! There’s nothing particularly good about this morning and its not really morning anyway but I don’t think this should bother anyone. And if it does…do contact some shrink before you become a full-fledged obsessive-compulsive freak of some kind. OCD isn’t that uncommon these days. And yeah, “perfectionist” is just a fancy derivative of OCD.
So, next year is almost here. I have kinda lost track of the years and I know that its just gonna be another day for me. I can understand why people get all excited about the New Year and what they call “fresh starts” but I cant help finding it rather superficial and naïve. Isn’t it all just too psychological? But hey, if it works for people…I’m not gonna challenge it. But this is my space…for my thoughts…a place where I use my right for free speech. So, BITE me!
Anyway, the best thing about the New Year is the New Year’s Eve…the perfect time for retrospection and introspection. The fool proof method to evaluate how much farther we have gotten in life, how much we have gained, how much of our goals we have achieved, how progressive we have been etc etc.
Its probably a little premature for me to talk about the New Years on 27^th December but I just might not get the time on December 31^st so I’m getting my thoughts down right now. And in case I DO get some time on December 31^st you just might get to read a few more New Year related ramblings.
So, back to where I left off. New Year is just the right time for self-evaluation. Last year this time I was alone, in a new city, in a new country, living a new life. I didn’t know my way around the city so it was hard for me to go to places where I could stop thinking about my solitude. The sight of families together made me gloomy…but I was always strong and I was always appreciative of the fact that I was finally at a stage in life when I could start working on what I want to be. I was at the juncture when I knew what I wanted and had all the services to make my dream a reality. And today, I am living that dream…my dream…my reality. The past year has transformed me from a novice to what feels like a veteran. I have gained so much…and am thankful for that. Thankful to the people who have stood by me…my family and friends, the opportunities that have given themselves to me, my karma and all the other things I believe in. I have lost a lot as well…but that does not disturb me. The very fact that I can live without something means that I didn’t need it all that much anyway. And only when we lose substance can we have enough room to gain substance that’s more important to us.

*writers block*

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Lucy's Christmas party. It was Susan who spiked the punch with too much Martini. I can't help it if I drank 9 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like musk.

I thought it was funny when I put Bab's bra on my head and danced the salsa on the couch while singing `I'm already there'. I didn't mean to break Lucy's cell phone and don't know why Lucy would sue me for rape.

I don't remember calling Ruben's wife a super cow---even though she looked like one with green eye shadow and brown lipstick!

And when I threw up on Caitlin's husband's foot, it was only because I ate too much of that Ben & Jerry's.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my BMW through my neighbor's attic. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a wet lion and have me arrested for hot wiring!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all frustrated and misunderstood. And I'm really not to blame for any of this insane stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and sleepily yours,
Bitter Genius (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 6 bucks!

Write your own letter to Santa here

i'm back baby!

Does it feel good to be back or what??? I got back from New York a couple of days back (Did I ever mention how much I detest flying?) but I simply didn’t have the time to blog/email. But now that I am back…both to my home and to my blog… there’s only one thing I feel like saying “It feels great to be home!!”. I should perhaps add a “Yeah baby!” to that!!!

So, one of the reasons why I haven’t been able to blog the past few days is coz I was busy providing my counseling services to a couple seeking a divorce. Well, they’re not really “seeking” divorce…they’re “considering it as a possibility”. And believe me, it sucks! They have me completely drained out! I don’t believe in telling people what they want to hear so it’s been kinda hard on me (and on them of course!). I generally like to distance myself from such situations but I couldn’t help it this time. I am not one to turn down someone asking for help. But here’s a word of advice: “Never counsel a couple where one person is brash and rude and the other is in denial”. Whew! Just talking about it wears me out!

Anyway,

Ummmm……

Sometimes I don’t know what to think.

Gotta go…I feel like cookies and milk. And yeah, Merry Christmas!

New York, New York.

So it's 11:20pm and the night before I leave for NY. The flight is at 11:30 am tomorrow which means we have to be at the airport by 9:30-ish. That further means I have to be up by 7:00 am... which is generally bed time for me these days. Yeah, I have been keeping wild hours! I sleep in the wee hours of the morning and wake up around 1:00 or 2:00 pm. I'm averaging at about 2 1/2 movies every day for the past week or so. But damn! I'm in for a world of jet lag once I get to NY. But then again, I'll probably be too busy to notice.
I'm a little nervous though....I guess it's justified....but nervousness isn't one of the best things one can feel. Let's see how things go. But honestly, although not physically possible...life sucks and blows at the same time.
And on that note, I shall say ciao!
Ciao!

TA...i got it!

I GOT IT!! MY HARD WORK PAID OFF!! THIS MAKES IT ALL WORTH IT...THIS MAKES LIFE WORTH IT! I'M SO DARN EXCITED!

same stuff different day!

These days my dear blog seems to have become a substitute for the "planner" section of my diary rather than the "dear diary" section. The only difference is that when I fill out my planner, I pen down all the stuff I wanna get done within the next 24 hours and when I fill out my blog, I essentially talk about what I actually got done in the past 24 hours. And I am well aware of the fact that I dont get much work done. :-) But thats coz I can afford to lay on my lazy ass all day long and do nothing but watch movies, eat and read sleazy articles in Cosmo and Redbook! And yeah, I also seemed to have lost about a decades worth of mental maturity coz I picked up a M&B after...lets just say...longer than I can remember. Lame huh? So lame!! But what I was surprised at was that the one I was reading kinda worked for me.... >:-)
So, we chalked out my entire NY trip today. 15th-17th NY and NJ, 18th-19th Toronto and then I gotta catch my flight back to Home Sweet Home on the 20th at 6am. I had a talk with my fiance/boyfriend/call-him-what-you-like 's Dad, Mom and elder Sis. Seems like we'll have fun but I dont wanna bet on it just yet!! We're gonna make another trip to Atlantic City....boy! Do I love to gamble or what??? Bring it on baby!!
It's 1:30am and I just downed what seemed to be atleast 32 ounces of hot chocolate! I should sleep well tonight!!!

Cuss! Crap! Damn!

Crap! Crap, Crap, Crap! I could say that a zillion times and then wanna say just one more thing...CRAP! No, I am not upset about anything...in fact, if anything, I have been taking everything real easy, getting into the holiday spirit, stopping and smelling the flowers, kicking it up, shopping like mad....and basically doing anything and everything that counts towards having a good time. But CRAP! I figured that I am so used to cussing that my day seems incomplete without it! CRAP!
I'm leaving for NY on the 15th....and the incident at the Chicago airport wasn't exactly something I needed...considering the fact that I have to change flights in Chicago. And I'm kinda dreading the visit to NY. I would normally admit to just one reason for that....which is the freezing weather in NY....but to be honest, I am also a little nervous about meeting him. Actually, I'm nervous about my Mum meeting him. Crap! I hope it all works out well. Damn! I feel like that vehicle that’s half hanging off the hill...with a tiny pebble for a fulcrum...damn! gotta watch how every damn person in the vehicle treads!! Damn! And I gotta save everyone’s when my own butt is freezing off! Wonderful innit? The role of a woman as the thread binding together the emotional fiber of our small circle in particular and society in general. I have single word response for this statement....but I'll refrain from saying anything. If things don’t work out the way I want them to....rest assured....this is where I'm gonna spit out all my venom!
I seem to be living up to my bitterness these days. Hmmmm.....No comments! I just have too much to do, too little time, yadda yadda yadda....you've heard this before!

F.R.E.E.D.O.M.

Just a pic for now....I'll write later! But all I wanna say is that I AM FREE!!! YEAH BAYBEH!!!! WHOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!
Out of my mind....will be back later!!!!
PEACE AND LOVE!!

i'm leaving on a jet plane....atleast thats how i feel!

okay...this is it! am leaving for my final final. it starts in just about an hour so i have enough time to say those parting words....or should i say...famous last words? I'LL BE BACK!
even though i am a full fledged athiest...i probably remembered all the different God's in record time.
MAY THE FORCE BE WITH ME! when i start talking star wars...it means i am REALLY losing it!!
*sigh*....here goes nothing.....
P.S. it has been tried and tested and certified that i tend to talk a lot when i am nervous. and the same was just proved yet again!!

the wings of freedom

whooohoooo! i just finished sending in my last lab report and programming assignment. and i have just one more exam to go....
the taste of freedom is mind blowing! and tomorrow at 930pm....this taste of freedom will be unshackled and i shall fly!! freedom from selfish and agressive lab-mates, stupid programming, meeting deadlines and the rest of the works. i enjoyed the studies this term but the "baggage" was kinda unbearable! but i'm happy i learned a few lessons along the way.
i can hardly wait! just a little over 24 hours and i'll be in sheer bliss!
i'm kinda strapped for words....no thanks to the goddess of irony for that!
but anyway, this quarter has been quite a handfull. my stress levels have never been so high, i dont remember ever working so hard, i dont remember tolerating people the way i did this term. but hey...all's well that ends well right? in this case i'm almost near the end. i trust my luck to screw up in such a way that things go uncontrollable wrong in the next second or two...but for these fleeting moments in between.....i'm relaxed like i havent been in ages!!
okay, i'm famished....i should get somethin to eat now!

yikes!

It's December 2nd already?????????? Gimme a freakin break man!!! Damnit!! I can't believe this....just 2 more days for the finals...oooooh boy! I'm in for a world of hurt....I know it...I can feel it from here. This is not gonna be pretty.....