what to do?

So, I spoke to HIM today. It had been almost a fortnight since we talked. It wasn’t as terrible as I thought it would be. Actually, it went fairly well. No questions asked, no explanations demanded…and that went both ways. And the reason is not because we don’t bother…but because we know that both of us have been really occupied of late. And we talked for 2 hours… talking about the past, present and future. That’s what I like about HIM. He always makes me feel so comfortable and always makes me smile. I make him smile too, by the way…I’m not a dork with no sense of wit.
Today’s exchange didn’t make life any easier for me. I mean, it did in the sense that now I no longer move around with the “Call Him” post-it glued to my forehead! But it also makes it equally tough. Why? For the simple reason that now my plans of “guiltlessly” dumping him are in the dumpster themselves.
The next commonsensical question would be “But why do you wanna dump him?”. Long story. One threaded with lotsa compound emotions and thoughts. No one will identify with what’s in my head…so I won’t explain. And you don’t ask!
All I wanted was for this to be uncomplicated…but it now seems like its gonna be the hardest part. I’ve blogged about how there is no correct way to turn a person down. But the people I have talked about in that blog were idiots of the highest degree. Now, I have a lovable, affectionate, understanding, caring and polite guy on my hands. I don’t wanna offend or hurt anyone…but does that mean that I should put my happiness on the line just to make someone happy? And if that person really cares for me…will he be happy knowing that I am just compromising?
My heart says one thing and my psyche says another…and they keep changing sides (very conveniently disagreeing at all times!). How do I know if someone is right for me? And how do I know someone isn’t?
As far as emotional attachments are concerned…I feel like a splotch…an opaque splotchy blob…wrapped up in a barbwire. Damn!
What to do? What to do? What to do?